March 12, 2014 § 1 Comment

So yesterday was the 1st death anniversary of one of my best friends, who died of pulmonary fibrosis. This is for her. :)


She was a little awkward,
A little too carefree.
She chewed with her mouth open
And told us jokes
At the same time,
And talked
About everything and nothing
With the rice and noodles
Making their way onto the table.
And we were laughing back
And telling her to
Chew her food properly
And swallow before talking
But she’d just grin
And laugh again.

Her laugh.

I could only describe it as
A snicker.
It was a cross between the laughs of
Scooby Doo and
Mr. Bean
With extra breaths in between.
Something like:
With the double and triple h’s
Sounding like the spitting sound
From the
Back of your mouth;
The “ch” in the German “achtung”
Or “ich liebe dich”.
Her laughter
Was contagious.
When she laughed,
We all started to as well.

There was this time
We were standing together,
Just the two of us.
Waiting for our other friends
After our high school yearbook photo shoot
In the Bell House
At John Hay,
And it was about 4 in the afternoon.
I was in my gold dress,
Wearing my elephant ring,
And she was holding a book,
Wearing a colorful
Floral dress,
Hair undone,
(Again, as always–
She was so cheerful).
And there was this moment,
This one second
When the sunlight was perfectly golden,
And it hit her
At just the right angle
In just the right place
At just the right time
And I saw her in a way
I never really had before.
And I paused
And stared,
And smiled and said,
“You’re beautiful”
And she just looked at me
Like I was crazy,
But she was still grinning,

And she was beautiful.
She really was.

She faced everything
Even death.

She was full of laughter,
So full of love,
And she never gave up
On anything.

The words on her headstone
Are painted in her favorite color,
And somehow
They’re the perfect words
For her:


And she did.
She really did.

To the very end.


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